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Lump of Coal β€” Album Art

Lump of Coal

Valentina · Howling Moon Music

Album: DogMother Christmas 2025 · Track 43
Holiday / Country Rock
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The Story Behind This Song

Some people earned every lump of coal they got. This is a Christmas song for the people who made the naughty list and aren't sorry about it. Dark humor, holiday attitude, zero apologies.

Lyrics

Lump of Coal
Valentina

Fa-la-la-la-la, you deserve a lump of coal.
Fa-la-la-la-la, you deserve a lump of coal.
Deck the halls with all your drama, bless your bitter soul.
Silent night β€” only 'cause you ghosted me.
Holy night β€” sweet hypocrisy.
Fa-la-la-la-la, you deserve a lump of coal.

Please pass the turkey, then pass the blame,
You brag like a carol, it's always the same.
Joy to the world… when you walk out the door.
You've been naughty all year β€” and Santa keeps score.

Grandma didn't get run over by a reindeer, no β€”
She hung the stockings, she carried the load.
She hit the nog hard, rolled her eyes and prayed,
Sweet baby Jesus, bless his heart.

O come all ye fakers, faithful to none.
The choir is tired, your solo is done.
Santa's list is short, and your name's in bold.
No gifts, no grace β€” just a lump of coal.

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